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Carey Marcella McClintock 
37 Comments
Her voice sounded so hopeful the last time we spoke. I believe she was really trying to pull her life together. I will forever hear her voice in my head.
This morning, October 11th, I lit a candle for her at St. Patrick’s Cathedral. My wish for her – happiness, eternal love and peace.
I’ll never forget one of the first conversations I ever had with Carey, at the end of 2004. It was obvious to me that God was speaking to her heart about something because she wanted to talk about my faith instantly. As we chatted about my belief in Christ and how I find purpose in life, she was determined to uncover if I really believed what I said I believed. She challenged me asking how I could reconcile my Christian faith with living a noticeably imperfect life and having struggles not too different from her own. She mentioned her Christian upbringing, while also making sure I knew that she was exploring new philosophies and other ways to improve herself and follow her own truth. Determined not to argue, I told her that if we could redeem ourselves then why would God have ever needed to step out of heaven, take on our pain, our humanity and our sin, and make a way for us to know a perfect God, and have a real relationship with Him? What I saw in her eyes that night was scared young woman who knew God was pursuing her with an everlasting love. I know that the faith she knew to be true from years past was still in her heart, and in her clouded perspective, clinging to God’s grace was just too easy. So just like many of us, she ran and hid from Him because she was ashamed of her choices. I believe Carey found her way back home in the arms of a loving God, as evidenced by the poems she left behind. There is a song that captures this idea better than any sermon ever could. I took the liberty of replacing a few of the pronouns in the chorus to honor Carey’s memory and personalize it for her journey back to God’s grace and forgiveness.
Once there was a broken heart
Way too human from the start
And all the years left it torn apart
Hopeless and afraid
Walls she never meant to build
Left this prisoner unfulfilled
Freedom called but even still
It seemed so far away
She was bound by the chains
And the wages of her sin
Just when she felt like giving in
Mercy came running
Like a prisoner set free
Past all her failures to the point of her need
When the sin that she had carried
Was all she could see
And when she could not reach mercy
Mercy came running indeed.
Sometimes I still feel so far
So far from where I really should be
He gently calls to my heart
Just to remind me
Mercy came running
Like a prisoner set free
Past all my failures to the point of my need
When the sin that I carried
Was all I could see
And when I could not reach mercy
Mercy came running to me
I met Carey on my 27th birthday – August 1, 1989. After having only talked to her briefly, for some reason I was stuck with the odd feeling that I would see her again. The next time I saw her was two months later as she was walking through the door of a Human Resources department – from where I sat, her first comment to me was, “Hey! I know you!” Those enthusiastic words will always ring clear in my ears and in my heart. On so many levels Carey “knew” me, she knew me better than any one else may ever know me. Since that day Carey and I always struggled to understand just how we were to live out the feelings we had for each other – often in traditional and graceful ways and other times in difficult and “not-so-graceful” ways. BUT, we always knew that for the rest of our lives we would be a part of each other in some manner or another – that there was no way that we could possibly walk away from each other. I know now that the love that I possess for Carey was never a choice or decision that I made – it was truly a matter of destiny, something that seemed out of my human control or limited understanding.
I have to be honest in that the most difficult part of this chapter is that I had developed a different scenario in my mind as to how Carey would finally deal with the challenges and struggles that she faced. I always assured Carey that I would be there at the end if she wanted and needed my help.
I have said often and will probably continue to believe for all of my days that at the end of Carey’s life, maybe with the last few human breaths that she took, the Spirit came to her and gave her a moment of peace, a vision of serenity, and allowed her to truly experience the unconditional love of her family and friends – that love which was always available to Carey no matter where she was or what she was doing. I know in my heart of hearts that she did not die alone – that in her last moments she was at peace and was comforted. I rest in the knowledge that she no longer struggles with those things that she had come to believe were out of her control.
I will always consider Carey the most precious of birthday gifts. I could not begin to recount the incredible experiences and times we shared together, and now fondly look back at our challenges and difficulties for what they really were. Carey’s name and the McClintock/McCown names will forever be imprinted on my heart, knowing that the love I have for her and her family was never a personal choice or decision of my own, but one of destiny.
I loved loved carey. I meet her about 5 years ago buying drugs. She always had a way with people from the first moment I saw her. The last time I saw carey was november 18th 2007. I was court ordered to an 8th month rehab. She was right there giving the reassurance I needed that everything would be ok. I did not know that would be the last time I saw her. I finished my rehab successfully. All I can do with this sadness I feel is somehow somewhere spread the message of how to unlock the chains of addiction. Carey had so so much pontenial! She would ask me sometimes when are we ever going to get off this shit and start living our lives. I did not think the end would be this way. It definatily has made me look at my own life and I really want to choose to live. I love you miss thang whereever you are. I get what you are telling me. Thank you for being there when I needed you. Bye carebear xoxoxo
My dearest Carey,
I should have known from the very beginning that you were so different. I wonder how many times in your life you were asked why your name was spelled Carey instead of Carrie? I wonder why we chose Marcella for your middle name? Was it because we somehow knew that you too would be kind and gentle and so eager to defend what you saw as not wrong but different?
I now think that in your way you tried to teach us that you couldn’t really
see the world as we did, but rather saw it as you wanted it to be. If only you had become a famous poet, or artist, or singer the world would have rewarded your vision. If only…..
I know you recognized that the most different, most untraditional person ever was Jesus. How could He say Love your enemies? How could he suffer on a cross and say to his Father to forgive them, they don’t know what they do?
I remember when you dressed in black, with black lipstick and finger nail polish and went off to school. I said to you that you looked like you were in a halloween costume. You said who does it hurt?
I remember when you had to work for a supervisor at work that didn’t know your job. You had to follow her instructions but questioned her authority over you.
I remember your distrust of our legal system. How could we pass a conspiracy law that presumed your guilt rather than your innocence? I remember…
You were very special, my beautiful daughter and I, and so may others, will Love You and Cherish you forever.
I thank God for your life Carey and for what you tried so hard for us to see.
Dad
Carey was the funest, nicest, sweetest girl. Everytime with her was a good time. I remember one time I told her I wished she lived closer so I could see her more and do more stuff with her. I told her she was like the sister I never had, which is odd because I have 8 sisters that I love dearly, but I always had room for her too. She could argue ANYTHING and I mean ANYTHING, but she made you really think about things.
I feel very lucky that I got to see her recently. I was so happy to see her then, but I never knew it would be the last time…I would have stayed longer! I feel very fortunate now to have had the opportunity to spend some time with her. I MISS YOU CAREY!
I met Carey a year ago this past month through my husband. She needed a place to stay so she lived with us for about 3 months. Rather than dwell on Carey’s short comings, I would like to share some of her strong points because these are the part of Carey that I want to remember. She told me that she had not seen her family in a long while so maybe I can fill in a few months in the gap. I have two sons, 18 and 12 at the time, and I work full time as well as volunteer at their schools so my plate was overflowing. Carey helped me with the boys when I was feeling overwhelmed. Some days she hauled them to school or picked them up. She helped my boys with homework when needed. Give Carey a computer and I swear she could make it sing. With her world travels and quick wit, she was a breath of fresh air for them over my nagging :o) The boys were very saddened to hear of her death.
Carey wanted to write a book and if you can find her journal that she kept while she was locked up the last time, you will find her writings for the first book that she wanted to publish. I’m not sure she finished it but she gave anything she did, everything she had to give, so it would be a reflection of Carey.
She was one of the smartest women I have met and she could hold a conversation about any subject with anyone. She especially loved to share her philosophy on life and how the real world should turn if she was in charge. She liked to challenge my faith in God, I think more as a test to see if she could change my beliefs. I liked to challenge her ‘supposed non-believer’ views and deep down I think Carey did believe in God but was afraid to show it. I don’t know why but it was like she had taken a stand years ago so now she couldn’t back down. I pray that she turned to God in her last moments because I know He was there to take her home to Heaven.
Carey had a natural flare and eye for decorating compared to my atrocious decorating skills. I came home from work one day and she had rearranged the house and right then and there the boys and I decided we were keeping her. Our house had never looked so good. She could walk into a room and change a few things around and I’d be asking myself, “How does she do that?”
Now for Carey’s favorite subject- when she would tell me about her family. (Yes, she thought of you all the time and had wonderful things to say about her family) She loved to tell about her Grandma that did a cooking show. I don’t remember the name of the show but she was proud of her. (She was a good cook too and said she learned it all from Grandma.) Please know that she had many regrets in pushing her family away and not having contact for so long. She was so excited about the rehab and spending time with her sister that lived in Dallas as well as getting to stay with her Dad and Brenda. She wanted to make a trip to California to see her other sister, but realized that dream was not going to happen in the near future. She loved you all and had you all in her thoughts always.
My last time with Carey was a multitude of mixed emotions. She had cut the band on the home monitor and was fleeing to Mexico. She would not give me details because she didn’t want to get me in trouble with the law, but I specifically warned her about Juarez. I was afraid for her safety so I bought her a pay as you go cell phone from Walmart, a card with minutes, some cash, and clothes because she left in a hurry and thought it best not to go empty handed. I was torn between wanting her to be safe and wanting her to be free. Carey always told me that she couldn’t live a life locked up in cage. She was a free-spirit and she chose freedom. Now I am not so sure it was freedom that she chose.
I last spoke to Carey around June. She called me from a friend’s cell number and was frightened by some woman that she said wouldn’t give her any food or money. She asked me to wire her some cash for food because she hadn’t eaten in days. I did. She kept repeating to me not to tell the ‘woman’ she called me and not to contact her at the number she called from or the ‘woman’ would be very angry. I asked who the ‘woman’ was but she said “you don’t want to know”. A few days later she texted me to say things were better and not to worry. I told her to call me if she needed anything. I never heard from her again.
Carey used to say that there were no ‘true friends’ in this world. She said people just used her for what they could get. I told her that I would prove her wrong and that she could have a ‘true friend’ in me. I never asked anything of Carey except to trust me and let me prove that I am her friend. I like to think that she realized that.
May God hold Carey in the Palm of His Hand Until We Meet Again.
I met Carey because Zack is one of my good friends. I cant say I remember exactly when or where we met, but I’m fairly sure I’m just about the only person to ever make that statement.
The earliest memory I have of her was at JR’s one night. It was pretty empty and I was several feet away from Zacks station. She had apparantly come in to see him before going to some event, and was wearing a skin tight black gown with that infamous cleaveage on full display. Full face and her hair was all ‘did up’. In a word, she looked gorgeous. She was standing on the rail that serves as a foot rest under the bar and was stretching, one foot coyly up, leaning over the bar trying to get a kiss from Zack. They were laughing together. So beautiful and alive and full of life. Both of them.
‘What fun it must be to be them….’
I watched Zack as her watched her, with the scent of some fabulous expensive cologne wafting behind her, as she walked that walk and was out the door. Gone. Almost like she had been a mirage, or a vision.
Of course, people gossip about the ones who tend to put themselves ‘out there’. And of course, I’m no different than most in that way. And it needs no mentioning that Carey tended to be center stage, definitely ‘out there’!
Occasionally I would find myself in conversation with someone who didnt know her well (like that ever lasted). And my comment was ALWAYS the same. ‘Take my advice and do NOT underestimate that girl!’
She was smart. Smart enough to let people think she was just some blonde bimbo and then BAM! She would come up from behind and have a bite out of your backside before you ever knew what hit you. Lesson learned! I loved that in her! She was totally capable, in my eyes, of taking care of herself when she believed in herself. Strong, opinionated, gregarious and seemed to have never met a stranger.
Back then I had a new boyfriend, Tony, and Carey seemed to have a connection with him. He was fairly young at the time and had gone to a Christian university. She came over often to ‘debate’ about life and after-life and the complexities of human interactions. Rarely did I join in (a miracle in itself, if you know me), preferring to listen. I can remember her intelligence, her passion, her commitment to her beliefs. She was actually able to get me to not only rethink, but change my mind about issues that I had never been even remotely interested in reconsidering, things that werent on the table, so to speak. No small feat, trust.
I suppose, thinking about it, what I’m trying to say is that I respected her. Alot.
The point in time came, as with some others, when she and I had a difference of opinion in a business matter. It wasnt a very nice disagreement, unfortunately. We agreed to part ways. In the business we were in back then disagreements and parting of the ways were not uncommon. But it really upset me. More than any other time. She was a friend and it hurt. I missed her. I can remember feeling like she was acting like it didnt matter, or that she didnt care. I think now I know different. I’d like to believe that. I’m sure of it.
I guess a couple or a few years went by. Not sure. But one night my phone rang. And it was Crazy (my pet name for her). She wanted me to meet her for coffee. I remember feeling silly about it, getting so excited that she wanted to see me. It was such a surprise to hear from her, tho.
So we met, she oohed and ahhed over my new car. We didnt visit for very long. It was obvious that she wasnt quite herself. Well, she acted like it. But something seemed different. I guess she was under alot of pressure, because I’m pretty sure it was after her arrest.
We saw each other maybe 4 or 5 times after that, always very briefly. And like it is so often in life, things just werent the same.
I’m glad she had time to spend with her family, time to heal with them.
She deserved that.
I wish our story had a happier ending. But I hope my writing about her will help others who are hurting, missing her.
Because the whole point in my writing, really, was to say my life was much more blessed and richer for having met the beautiful, sweet, fun, always laughing, always thinking, the one with the most amazing closet full of clothes, the crazy girl that was Carey.
I’m so grateful to have known her. And loved her, too.
I know she has found the peace she looked so hard to find in this life. And I know she realized how many lives she touched and that are the better for it.
We miss you, Carey. Please rest in peace.
With love and always your friend.
Dear Colleen,
My deepest sentiments to you and your family during this time of letting go.
I know we have never met but through Rebecca I have kept abreast with the events that have transpired.
Thank you soo much for the note. My heart is just broken. I remember talking with Carey and knowing the panic she was feeling remembering my own experience with the THUGS and the sentencing guide lines. I also noticed that at that time she was still in the grips of her addiction thinking she could scam her UA’s and work the system. Knowing from dealing with the system that it was a grandiose notion , I tried to share my experience , strength and hope but felt that it fell on deaf ears. It did get me present to the powerlessness that we stand in when dealing with such realities. I do remember though, that there was NO WAY I would have signed up on my own accord to the sentence I was given. I needed every second of the 7 years I spent in prison releasing my addiction and processing all the pain I inflicted on my loved ones. I had lots of guilt and shame to process.
I so understand the family dynamic of addiction and really the hardest thing is getting the “sober members” to understand their powerlessness and forgive themselves. There is nothing that I could say in this instance that could soften the reality of you and your families process. What I would like to do, is use Carey’s poetry with your family’s permission to share with the women I work with. We all sat together when I got the myspace pictures that David had posted and collectively prayed for her journey. I do want you to know that her death has profoundly touched the women in this house. She IS ONE OF US.
Please stay in touch.
With much compassion,
Jema
Just wanted to pay my Respects to the family and to Miss Carey.
I remember exactly the first time i met her and I remember the last time I seen her. Let me tell you in between those two times, we became best friends , partial roommates, rivals, enemies, then full circle back to best friends again. She and I had this flirty love thing going on , then that love /hate relationship that in the end was something speciasl that will never cross my path again in my life. Carey was special and she did care about us. She also cared abouit her family. The pics on the page of her younger days i have seen somany times before , from her showing me , and missing everyone. She was just stuck in that lifestyle that WE ALL either have been in, used to be in , or still are in. Just like myself i stayed away fromfam,ily cause i couldnt bare to let them see me and think whata a loser , a nobody with nothing. I wanted to be able to go see them and brag about a new home or car or great job or wonderful mate but as we all know time doesnt stop and wait it slips away. Everyone always wanted more than she could give , so in defense of Carey she really never meant any harm towards anyone, if anything she tried to hard to please everyone. Usually neglecting herself in the process, which in return did the same to everyone around. Something we are all guilty of. She did hate the drug scene and tried to get out , I helped land a job as aa landman , she got it but something happened that pushed right back into before. thats when the unthinkable happened. She was very smart beautiful glamorous, sassy, crazy, bitchy, hardcore, and loving. She introduced me to some life changing things like the books she gave me one year , about the Hopi tribe, which she was very interested in as was she very spiritual and did seek enlightenment and freedom from all this.. I still cant believe all this……Very sad.
My prayers are with your family and you will always be in my heart and thoughts Bitch.
love Jett
Ps.
We need to change these laws of this land. How can our government sell and tax alcohol and cigarrettes knowing that these are drugs and will kill sooner or later, but throw a person doing drugs in prison to rot with murderers without even the option for rehab. Of course dont forget the ridiculously high amount of cash you have to fork over just to be heard ….?? when is enough going to be enough.
Thank you for posting the info about sentencing and drug charges and letting it be known that that certain someone did the deal with the prosecution and gave them her name so he could have a lesser sentence. Even though she wasnt nothing they tried to charge her as being, it was him. Thats disgusting. thats our laws. Go Vote.
To Carey’s family – I am so so sorry for your loss and your pain. I can’t even imagine what it must feel like. We’ve all lost someone near and dear but I have personally not been through the extreme nightmare that all of you have experienced. I am so very sad in my heart right now. Thank you so much for starting this site and allowing us to share our thoughts and feelings.
I am not good at putting my thoughts into words but I wanted to send my condolences.
Carey was such an amazing woman. She was so beautiful, sweet, and fun to be around. I met her and her husband David in 1996 through a mutual friend, David Hansen. We had lots of really fun times especially going to hear Blanche Fury play. There were birthday parties and nights out on the town that were always a blast.
I regret that we didn’t have more time together… I didn’t get to see her much in the years following. I wish I could tell her one last time that I loved and admired her and that I was thankful for our friendship.
Phillip Forrest
Austin, TX
I want to first thank Carey’s family for posting all of this information. I have been looking for Carey for a few years. As a very close friend for many years, I think it is so important for everyone to see the change Carey had made in her life and I am so glad she was able to spend some time with her family before this tragedy occured. She always bragged and spoke so highly of her family. She was so proud of you all.
Hello Colleen, Hello Cathleen, I’m so very sorry for your loss…They say that people come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime…even though she was only in my life for a season, Carey changed my life…I’ll never forget meeting her…
We met on Labor Day in 2001 over at a friends house and instantly gravitated towards each other…we then went to a nightclub in Deep Ellum called Rapture, which I thought was a pretty appropriate name for a club, because that’s what happened to us. So much, if fact we ended up getting a place together two months later.
Carey was such a magnetic personality and she was so much fun to be around…what a sense of humor she had! If anyone in the room told a good joke, she was the first to laugh at it because she got it, she just got it…she was so smart…
She really was constantly trying to better herself…always buying and reading all sorts of books, we spent so much time at Half Price Books, they started giving us 75% off. She was always looking for answers…searching. We even started attending Imago therapy classes, where we began making progress and pulling back layers…but like most of the things we began with so much enthusiasm, they just didn’t last…we never finished.
One thing I always did finish with her was…my plate…she was such an AWESOME cook!! If there was only Wax Beans and some Chicken Broth in the pantry…somehow, she ended up with one fantastic tasting meal, she was AMAZING! On Thanksgiving and Christmas she would make this one incredible casserole made from Corn Flakes…it was SOOO good! I’ll be thinking of you this Thanksgiving, Carey…I miss my Ducker…
That was my nickname for her…and her for me was….Gellie…people always wondered why those nicknames? Gellie because she could place a Jelly Bean on my cleft chin…Duck, because she liked to nest and had the cutest’lil waddle you ever saw!! Oddly, this past year, just a few months ago, she posted one of the poems she wrote for me on Poetry.com…how surreal…here, it went:
What is a Gellie?
Why a Gellie is a most wonderful thing
Joy, happiness Gellies make your heart sing
Gellies bring warmth on cold winter days
Loaded with sunshine that sparkles your way
Gellies bring peace with stars in the sky
Gellies have answers for all your “whys?”
Gellies give kisses of the magnificent sort
They make you jump as your learn to cavort
Gellies are juicy with a capitol J
They love and protect you in the juicest way
The juicy I refer to is not like that of fruit
But the kind you squeeze because its so cute
Oh life with a Gellie can be trying at times
In the end you will say it was all so sublime
For Gellies bring all good fortune and luck
Most important of all Gellies make you a Duck
~Carey Mcclintock
Copyright ©2008 Carey Marcella Mcclintock
I love you, Carey…
To Carey’s Family,
If there were some magical word, or a sentence could be said to ease your pain….. I’d say it. My god I don’t believe this has happened.
Carey always seemed so full of life. I have never laughed so hard… when she told me she wore fake toe nails, whoever heard of such a thing. She said it was about… “not having enough time”, it was quicker to glue them on.
She had such a sense of humor she called me “broke back mountain”, because I broke my back some 2 years ago. She would crack herself up every time she said.
I found a poem that always meant a lot to me.
I’M FREE
Don’t grieve for me, for now I’m free
I’m following the path God laid for me.
I took His hand when I heard him call;
I turned my back and left it all.
I could not stay another day,
To laugh, to love, to work or play.
Tasks left undone must stay that way;
I found that place at the close of day.
If my parting has left a void,
Then fill it with remembered joy.
A friendship shared a laugh, a kiss;
Ah yes, these things, I too will miss.
Be not burdened with times of sorrow
I wish you the sunshine of tomorrow.
My life’s been full, I savored much;
Good friends, good times, a loved ones touch.
Perhaps my time seems all to brief;
Don’t lengthen it now with undue grief.
Lift up your heart and share with me,
God wanted me now, He set me free.
My thoughts and prayers to your family, she will surely be missed. I will encourage our government not to let these people escape punishment for what they have done, even if its sending a letter regularly.
Sincerely,
Sheri
The fondest memories I have of Carey are those we shared togeher in Spain just about 10 years ago. Fortunately the days spent together allowed me to learn and appreciate the type of person she stood for…she was a self-less, caring, passionate, positive, honest and a super intelligent individual (and of course a talented poet) who seemed to always be the life of every gathering we shared together…
My heart and prayers go out to you Carey, your sisters and family.
All my Love,
Dave
To Carey’s family you all have my deepest sympathy. This is hard news. My heart is sick about this, yet I thought about it years ago and like others – wanted her to reach out before it got so bad. The flood of memories this week has been bitter-sweet. We were such fast friends from ’98 – 2000. I will remember Carey for all her personality and creative gifts. She taught me a lot about relationships and in some ways helped me make better decisions. I definitely appreciated the good times we had. So much potential. May God rest her soul. Larry
When I first met Carey in the early 90’s I felt like I had always known her. She was so friendly and attractive with a personality that could brighten even the gloomiest days.
As a DJ in several Dallas nightclubs over the years, I was approached many times by Carey. She was very vocal in her support of me and the music I played. Always polite and dressed to the nines Carey would make her way through a crowded club to the DJ booth to thank me for being there and express her love for the music. Often pointing out the positive messages in lyrics was one of the ways I knew Carey “got it” and completely understood what I was doing. This was our relationship for years…she would show up wherever I may be spinning, to cheer me on and show her support. I’m sure it had to have been Carey who first coined “Ronnie Brunoooooo! Wooo! Hoo! that was so often heard over the music and buzz of the crowded dancefloor.
In 2002 I was fired from two popular sister nightclubs. It soon became obvious to most both clubs fell due to embezzlement by door and bar staff. Unknown to me at the time a very well written letter of support of me showed up via mail at the home offices of the two clubs. It was signed Carey McClintock. It meant a lot to me that she never even mentioned it to me nor sought any response from me whatsoever. Years later, after becoming good friends, I asked her about the letter, and she responded with a huge grin, “of course I would do that for you Ronnie Bruno.” “You’re the best!” ….
Now I write this letter for Carey. The amount of energy, positivity and laughter she gave me is immesurable. The endless hours of hilarious storytelling and witty jokes were an experience of a lifetime.
With Love Always,
Ronnie Bruno
it is still a little bit hard to believe.
she was such a jokester yet so practical and logical. she was one of those people that you had to scratch your head and ask “what the hell is she doing here?” she was obviously a hell of alot more intelligent than most to be caught up in such a situation.
alot of people had a very wrong impression of ms carey..and alot of people saw her for what she was…funny, pretty amd way too smart.
be at peace now ms. carey. you are safe now.
To Carey’s Family,
I am so very sorry to hear about what happened to Carey.
I often wondered about Carey over the years and hoped everything had worked out for her.
Cary was a big part of my life between 1987 and 1989. We were both young and had not quite figured out what life had in store for us. I remember how excited she was when she got the job at Eastern Airlines. She was so proud. I remember being proud too but sad at the same time knowing that our relationship would soon end.
I saw Carey a few times after she came back from New York but lost contact in the early 90’s. She seemed so happy in certain ways but there was a sadness to her that puzzled me.
I saw a woman today that looked like Carey and it made me think of her. I decided to Google her name to see if she had a Facebook or Myspace page and that is unfortunately how I found this site.
By reading the comments from people she obviously had a tremendous impact on those she met and came to know.
I know this is late but my sincere condolences to you all. I hope that she is with God in heaven for eternity.
Robert (Rob) Vasquez
Carey.well i new Carey for about 5 years ,she worked for me,
when i first met her she was a person that shined almost had a ring around her,that smile was a Carey Smile. her love for everyone. and always first to help, her jokes no one unless who new her,just new how funny she was, and anyone that worked with her knows what im talking about. She had me in tears with laughing so much and every day, id tell im not in the mood, but by the end of the shift my side would hurt from laughing with her. ,and everyone else.I had never got dressed up for Halloween she hounded me about it for weeks,she brought me in a police costume which was fun,and so Carey,Put it on she said, and then she laughed,the next was the boots, HIGH BOOTS, when i did, she said thats it we rolled laughung and thats the only time i had been dressed up, i still have the famous boots,everytime she looked at me that day ,she had what i called the Carey look,pout down and eyes sparkleing.any who new Carey knows what im trying to say,
she was a lady and a special gift,and my regret is that i lost contact ,and im never going to be able to see her, she will me in my prayers everynight, and i do know this that God has a special place next to him for her.the last thing i want to say is
I saw Movie and at the end, it said Some people come in Our Lives and they make the Biggest Inpact, She was mine and i thank her for that and for always makeing me Laugh.I will always remenber you Carey.you are Loved
Maureen.
i know only little of your struggles. everyday those of “us” pray for those still “out there”- who still suffer. when i look at your picture i have of you- you glow just like an angel. those of us still here on earth just arent HOME yet. you are. i miss you.
your cousin, kelly
My son came up missing and presumed dead around this same time in Juarez, my heart goes out to another American family feeling the effects of this horrible state of affairs. Rumors say another girlfriend of connected person missing, someone with her name, found in Juarez
i first met Carey when she and David were married, August of 97.What a beautiful person Carey. we continued a friendship until a few years ago.Only recently found out what happened. I am greatly sadden, she was trully a remarkable creature. So many great abilities, she even worked for me in my interior design business, that girl could sell anything !!! But her drug use got in the way of her good judgement, that why i lost contact with her. When i met her she wasnt using [very much, or often] and what an awesome beautiful person ! I will always have a special place in my heart for you Carey! My heart goes out to her family and everyone that she touched during her brief lifetime. I feel very blessed to have my memories of Carey, its the gift from her that i will always cherish. she was a very generous person always giving gifts. Still have the cool shirts,and pants. I remember the times we went shopping together, she would find the coolest cloths[for the best deal]. The christmas that she was working for me i surprised her when she came over one evening. Told her to go look in the closet she opened the closet door and started screaming oh may god, there is a mink coat in here, is it mine ?? Yes ,I said. she started yelling GIRL , GIRL then a few cuss words. I think she called her mother after she calmed down. of course as Carey”s personality was, as soon as she put the coat on she put on show a cute show. it made me so happy to get it to her. What a trip she was, sure do miss her and those days we had so much fun together. Never will there be another person as endearing as Carey, nor as crazy[ but in a good way]!! Wish I could hug her today. Love you Carey….Your friend Mark Mansell
I was listening to this song by Matthew West today. I believe this was what God was saying to Carey all along….
I saw your sky fall today
Suddenly turn from blue to grey
Till one by one the raindrops
Turned to tears upon your face
Wish there was something I could do
Wish I could ease this pain from you
But I’ve never felt so helpless
It’s like you’re drowning right in front of me
And I’m reaching out and you can’t see
There’s something holding on to you so tight
So I guess this is all I’ll say to you tonight
Chorus
If you ever need me
You know where to find me
I will be waiting where I’ve always been
If you ever need me
You know where to find me
I have never left you, I’m where I’ve always been
Right by your side
Right by your side
If the whole world is on your back
If the strength you need is the strength you lack
If you’re in a crowd but all alone
If you can’t stay here but you can’t go home
If you can’t answer all the why’s
‘cause you’re too tired to reach that high
I want you to remember
Repeat Chorus
Bridge:
If the whole wide world is on your back
If the strength you need is the strength you lack
If you’re in a crowd but all alone
If you can’t stay here and you can’t go home
If you can’t answer all the why’s
‘Cause you’re too tired to reach that high
I want you to, I need you to remember
If you ever need me
You know where to find me
I will be waiting where I’ve always been
If you ever need me
You know where to find me
I have never left you, I’m where I’ve always been
Right by your side
Right by your side
Carey would be 40 years old today (March 24). She was the youngest of my three beautiful daughters and I know how much her sisters miss her. I hope that anyone who reads this can somehow appreciate the depth of our loss.
I recently read these words offered by grieving parents in The Compassionate Friends newsletter I receive each month. I share these thoughts because they truly convey how I feel about Carey’s tragic death.
“A black hole has been blown through our souls and it often does not allow the light to escape. It is a difficult place. For us to enter there is to be cut deeply, and torn anew, each time we go there, by the jagged edges of our loss. Yet we return again and again, for that is where she now resides. This will be so for years to come and it will change us profoundly. At some point in the distant future the edges of that hole will have tempered and softened but the empty space will remain…a life sentence.
We grieve for Carey, in part, through talking about her and our feelings for having lost her. Some go there with us, others cannot and, through their denial add a further measure, however unwittingly, to an already heavy burden. He memory is sustained through speaking about her. Deny this and you deny her life. Deny her life and you have no place in ours.
We know we will have recovered when, as we have read, it is no longer so painful to be normal. We do not know who we will be at that point or who will still be with us.
There will come a time, quite some number of years down the road, when the balance between the desperate awareness of what we have lost when Carey died will be somewhat balanced by the warm and joyful memories of what we had with her when she lived.”
“ I forgive……
I’ve heard advice for the bereaved that forgiveness is an important part of “healing”. I’ve worked hard at that elusive forgiveness, and came to the realization today that I am actually able to forgive quite a lot.
I forgive myself for not forgiving the people that caused by daughter’s death. Some things are just not “forgivable” and she would understand.
I forgive others for sharing their “miracles” with me, not understanding how cruelly this attacks my heart, as I wonder where my daughter’s miracle was.
I forgive others for not understanding me. I don’t understand anything anymore, so I can’t expect others to understand me either.
I forgive myself for not being able to do all the things I used to be able to do. I don’t function as well as I used to, and that’s okay.
I forgive others for continuing to live in that other world where I once lived with my daughter. It’s a good world, and I miss it a lot.
I forgive myself for no longer fitting into that world and not always be able to fake it. I am different now.
I forgive others for avoiding me. They don’t know what to say and quite frankly, that leaves me with nothing to say to them either.
I forgive my daughter for leaving me. She loved life and she loved me. I believe she loves me still.
This is probably not what people mean when they say we need to “forgive”, but it’s the best I can do. It’s enough that I can do anything at all, and maybe they will forgive me as well.”
Happy Birthday Carey….I Love You, Dad
a prayer of peace left lovingly on your birthday…..<3 ❤ ❤ – krissy
Stan, I think about Carey and pray for you specifically often. What people say about time healing all wounds is silly. Time just introduces new things to preoccupy us, and some wounds never heal. I can tell you were a great father to Carey, and a man who did his best to help his daughter seek Christ. I believe Carey had a relationship with Christ, and was caught in the crossfire of friends who pulled her down, and choices that brought destructive consequences. My last memory of Carey involved me sending her a barrage of text messages begging her to return a watch she had stolen from me. It was the last gift my grandparents gave me before they passed away. I told her that I forgave her whether she decided to return my watch or not. Depite what you may think, I’d give anything for her precious life to be returned over that watch in a heartbeat. She and I talked about God often. I miss her and my heart remains broken over what happened to her.
Meeting Carey seemed, at the time to be nothing more than “dumb luck”. Everyone who ever knew her knows exactly what I mean when I say she shined. She was kind to me and wanted nothing from me in return. I was a stranger in a strange land on a fast track back to prison when we met and every time I saw her she seemed to interogate me, wanting to know more and more about my past. When she hired me to work for her I understood her interest. She wanted to save me. Carey had more good in her than she wanted others to see and more kindness than it was safe for her to show. Even when surrounded by monsters, she kept her cool and knew how to utilize quaulities people around her had. In spite of her efforts I was unsavable. But I will always wish It would have somehow turned out different. I’ll always wish I could have somehow kept her safe. Bye Carey. See u on the other side.
So much has changed since you were taken from us……yet something is still the same and will be forever. I love you my precious Carey. I think about you every day. Dad
Carey was a very very dear friend of mine in a very troubling time. She always had a way of making everything seem OK. Certainly one of her gifts from God was her ability to make others smile….what an incredibly valuable gift. I knew Carey when I was much younger. I now have twin boys 5 years old. The love a parent has for their child is immeasurable and someone as special and unique as Carey makes her loss seemingly unbearable. I love you Carey for all that you are, for all that you gave, for all that you sacrificed, for all that you saw in me when I, nor anyone else, could see it. I pray for mercy on your sweet soul…I pray for your family who had their hearts ripped out of their chests…. I pray that our just Lord will show His great glory in all of this and your family can find peace in His grace.
Happy soon to be Birthday! My life changed or i would be in Mexico looking……….
Carey and I were flight attendants together for Eastern in 1989 and lived a short while together in NY, along with David. Having dropped off my oldest son on Sunday for his training to be a flight attendant, I got nostalgic for some of my old friends I used to fly with. Last I heard she and David had gone over to American to fly so I though those two must be living the life right now, So I googled Carey’s name, hoping to find her on social media, which is how I found out what happened. Carey was a lovely person and so much, fun, real and down to earth. I remember David used to joke about her “burping while wearing pearls.” Very sad to see what happened to her. God bless the family.
Thank you for leaving the comment, Brenda. We still miss her so much.
Just a quick visit here to wish Carey a Happy Birthday – that place in my heart and mind is still there, that place that only her spirit and her memory can fill. What a gift to have known her.
I have thought of my childhood friend so often over the years. I was compelled tonight to remember her, remember what happened to her. Carey, to me, was always so mature…beyond her years. I have so many fond memories at the McClintock house, playing pinball, listening to music, telling secrets…. waking up to Mr. McClintock’s music…discussing future plans with Mrs. McClintock….admiring her beautiful sisters. Carey often came to visit my parents after I went off to college…she was like family no doubt. I loved and love her still. My heart goes out to all of the special people who continue to grieve over the loss of our sweet, happy, intelligent, and daring Carey.
Didn’t have the energy to post anything yesterday – Rest In Peace Care Bear – you are missed!
I am in a state of shock and sadness…
I’ve googled her name off and on for years looking for her; social media; possibly a mug shot; but I had never considered this. I guess I stopped searching after a while when nothing ever came up. She popped into my head yesterday; I don’t know why; so i googled again. My heart is broken. Carey and I were in flight attendant training together. most of our class moved to NYC. We became very good friends. My roommate Gaye and Carey and David would all end up living near each other back in Texas and eventually Gaye and I were Roomates again and Carey and I were bridesmaids in her wedding. Carey and I stayed friends for a very long time but I saw the spiraling down of addition and after she left American we didn’t stay in touch long. I couldn’t help her and I wouldn’t stay and watch her demise. I’d lost many to addiction and I didn’t know how to “fix” it. So I let time and space come between us. As did she. She was all the things everyone before me said she was. And then some. I’m sorry I wasn’t there. I’m devasted I didn’t know until now. To her Dad, whom i met a couple of times; I can’t imagine your grief or her sisters. She loved y’all SO much!! David Groves you were in chicago last we spoke. I hope you’re well. I’m just so sad… I’m calling Gaye right now. Get in touch w me if you feel like it. ❤️817.996.7501